Family Estrangement

Sometimes we need to step back from our lives to feel whole.

My mom and I had another scream-fest.

“This generation!” – that’s what I heard my mom practically spitting to my dad after our battle about my outfit.

Why can’t they just understand that I’m different?

I’m not like them – I want to be part of a family, but they just make me feel so crazy and bad.

Its usually a colossal clash of values – often between mother and child – that creates some of the biggest fractures in family life.

Without courageous conversations and mutual respect, relationships can head into an abyss of long separation.

Worlds Apart

Many times, an adult child may feel emotionally safer on their own than in any sort of relationship with a (disapproving) parent or family member.

Ultimately, this impacts extended family, friendships, and future generations by causing painful confrontations or cold disconnects.

In times of crisis and hurt, seeing or being in touch with those closest to us can bring up sadness and pain.

A Pain That’s Generations Deep

At these times, finding the reasons and sources of estrangement can be extraordinarily painful and lonely.

In my office, there is a version of parent(s) doing the very best they knew how – while trying to manage their own fear and anxiety – to “raise” their child(ren) in the face of a big world with uniquely challenging demands.

Getting to the Root

Faced with serious issues of their own – loss, drug and alcohol issues, histories of abuse and/or neglect – parents try to bring a young person into this world the best way they know how.

And sometimes they miss the mark and cannot find their footing again to be that parent they wish they were.

Healing can happen – a family system can regain tolerance, even lasting joy, with help.

It’s not about being a “perfect” parent – it’s all about the quality of repair.

Finding Support Along Your Path

However, if you can team up with a therapist, the process can seem more bearable.

Together, we can talk through your pain to more clearly know its sources and identify whatever possibilities there are for healing.

With better coping and communication skills, you may be able to decide how to restore seemingly lost relationships.

I am here to help.

Therapy is a place where understanding becomes clearer – reasoning replaces vague notions, and feelings can be metabolized.

People begin to sleep better, becoming less afraid and less preoccupied, finding glimmers of hope and possibilities for personal growth and lasting change.

Call (612) 217-0797 today for a complimentary 30-min visit, and we’ll see if this kind of work is for you.