Infidelity Recovery

Its unimaginable. How will I ever trust again?

I might not.

How could he be so stupid and think I wouldn’t find these receipts from all the wrong places – places we’ve never even been?

I felt my stomach drop. It’s now or never. The blood drains from my face as I hear, “Hi, Honey!”  and I know what I have to do.

I have to tell him I know.

I thought we would never heal from this betrayal.

Some people have never even heard of infidelity recovery.

But it’s a thing, and more people than you realize have done it.

It’s scary, infuriating, and sometimes impossible.

Affairs are less about sex and all about desire – and feeling alive.

Esther Perel, psychotherapist and author of The State of Affairs: Re-thinking Infidelity, explains that it’s really not the other person someone is looking for outside of the relationship – it’s a new version of their own self that they seek.

When someone is tired of themselves, then they long to be seen with new eyes – and if there is no hope of that within the primary relationship, people may look elsewhere.

So, it’s the relationship that needs repair.  

Both partners each need to find compassion and trust, again.

Digging deep in a primary relationship means understanding the value of putting real needs and hopes on the table.

Divorce used to be an obvious answer, but that is no longer the truth.

A relationship can find a new way of being – shaking out the deadness, the mundane, and discovering new aliveness and erotic desire.

Affairs leave lasting agony, and addressing the hurt is essential for recovery.

Equally important for recovery is looking at the wandering partner and finding what felt alive and why for that person. 

Creating New Communication within the Relationship

This can be a stunning change for many couples.

If people want the enormous benefits of long-term, rich relationships – there will be times of fear, loss, and pushing through fire.

Not everyone’s fire will be the same, but our culture runs into difficulty around monogamy.

So, finding paths through difficulty can mean amazing emotional security for generations to come, as well as long-term, loving companionship and devotion for a couple.

The pain of an affair does not mean all is lost for the relationship or for the history of goodness that exists.

I propose looking closely at the relationship, the affair, and the future.

Recovery can be powerful and enduring.

Prepare to enter a new dimension of your relationship. Find trust and excitement in the eyes of your partner again.

Call (612) 217-0797 today, and let’s see what repair looks like for you and your family.